sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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