You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
