i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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