So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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