Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
