Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
third nipple confirmed
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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