If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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