The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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