may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
whose parrot is this?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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