The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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