we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We named our party play list daddy issues
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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