so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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