Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Less talking, more tequila
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
