Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
