I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
True college students do jello shots in the library
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