Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
