I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
