just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
