is wine microwaveable?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize