i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Your dad touched me again.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
