im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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