Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
