Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
sex in a hospital.. check
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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