either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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