Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
