9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
is that a dick in a sweater?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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