There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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