and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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