just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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