i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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