is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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