so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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