do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
