Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
