yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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