i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
