yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
