I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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