and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
