You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
