Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
