1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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