Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
