You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
