Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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