I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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