I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
