Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
