im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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