i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
now i know why i became what i already was.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
