i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
