R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
