I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
