Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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