They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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