She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
