I heard we made out
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Can you bring me the toilet please
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
