I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
