Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
