SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
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i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
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Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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