I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I wish I only lived at night.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
