She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
