Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I smell stomach acid.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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