he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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