It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
