Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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