But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
