Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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