I need help removing her.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
