So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
